


A Breath of Sensuality

by ThreeTimesCharmed



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-03-28 04:39:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13896459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeTimesCharmed/pseuds/ThreeTimesCharmed
Summary: My heart had been hardened by time, pain, and anger. It seemed at every last straw I was rounding a new corner into the light -- but then just when everything was about to go right, it went horribly wrong. For days the sun had been blacked out of my life and left me to nothingness. Then one day, it all changed. These passages are dedicated to you.





	1. Release

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shadowstriker17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowstriker17/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have granted me the power to please you and take you as my own for only a brief time, nipping at your neck and grazing my breath against your skin. In return, you have done everything in your strength to strip the stress and pain I have engraved into my subconscious.

For such a long time now, I have been faced with day to day struggles that have utterly shattered my soul from the inside out, forcing me to rebuild from what is left of the broken pieces in hopes of achieving something close to entirely whole. Each time I have failed to repair the damage and it has reduced my inner being to near nothing.

I have asked for merely few things in my life. As you know, the obvious. I want those I hold dear, including you, to be safe in all your ventures. There is a simple wish that has become an ache in the back of my mind that even I push back when the moment arises -- you have begun to expose it -- the need to release my self-control so that I can escape the chains wrapped around my body.

These last several nights have been both thrilling and sensational. You have granted me the power to please you and take you as my own for only a brief time, nipping at your neck and grazing my breath against your skin. In return, you have done everything in your strength to strip the stress and pain I have engraved into my subconscious. You have brought me to crave the scent of spiced rum on your lips after a night’s drink, and it seems you have come to feel the same about me.

Now that you have coaxed me from my conservative nature, I know you will take no hesitation to do so again. My voice was once forced to be silent, even in my own moments of self-pleasure, because of fear. You purposely kept my body pinned against the pillow and mattress, aware of the challenge that had been posed to you and pressed your teeth into my chest to break my streak of silence.

“I want to see just how quiet you claim you are,” you murmured to me. I could only giggle in response. “Can you do that?”

“I can try,” I spoke back to you, my chest pounding from excitement.

“Don’t make a single sound,” you ordered.

“And if I choose not to?” I responded with a smug grin.

“Then I’ll have to punish you.”

You nuzzled the top of my breast teasingly and listened to my racing heartbeat as it surged through my chest. Pressing your ear against the beat I knew you were thrilled at your handiwork. Then it hit me… and fortunately (yet unfortunately) I kept my silence.

Now you had an idea, one for certain that you could surpass, of what I was capable of. It was then I wanted to beg and plead with you to take advantage of that moment of vulnerability – and you did.

“You need to learn to relax and to let go,” you stated softly. Your coaxing moments later would convince me to attempt to let my own inhibitions release from my heated body. I calmed my breathing and forced myself to focus on the sensations you had left me with throughout the night. You knew this would be your best opportunity and once more went for my chest.

You broke my silence.

Harder and harder you sunk your teeth into my exposed flesh and from my throat came a sound even I was surprised found its way to surface. Your hand gripped mine and your dominance suddenly restrained my body against the softness beneath us.

Then something happened that I had not anticipated at all. The moment you let me go and brought me back into the light I reached to pull you back and met your lips with mine. I wasn’t quite breathless but, for a moment, you had released me from my inner demons. I wanted the feeling back but instead, knowing that I would need sleep, I just craved your body against mine. The heat of your skin and the warmth of the alcohol left a comforted sensation that I needed more than I knew how to say, even if it was overbearing.

You left me with a contented smile and an arousal I wish I could have resolved, but for a time I would have to settle on the happiness you had left me with. I can only dream maybe one day we can achieve this again, perhaps even next time we try again.


	2. A Hopeless Romantic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The storm that cracks thunder within my soul and sends my thoughts shifting and turning like the crash of waves on the shore amid it all suddenly finds a break in the madness when I find your arms wrapped around me, bringing me to tears as the clouds give way to the moonlight on the water.

Up to this point, I can solemnly say that there has been nothing better than curling up next to you, nuzzling into your neck, and smelling the scent of sensuality on your warm skin. There’s been nothing better than hearing that playful tone in your voice, daring me to pin your body against the sheets and tickle you until you’re crying from the laughter. And there’s been nothing better than giving you a kiss against your forehead just so you know it’s going to be alright when the world’s going wrong, and then seeing the smile to follow.

I might be more of a gentleman than I should be, but there’s nothing better than pulling you into my lap after a bad day and wrapping my hands around your waist, nipping at your ear, and feeling your breathing return to a calm from the irritation of the workday.

I’d give the world to see you smile and hear you laugh, but you offer it to me without asking a single thing in return. My loyalty knows no bounds and my protectiveness extends as far as you want it to. When I give myself into those sensations, I give them wholeheartedly. Perhaps blindly, but not without true and pure intent.

Even I have yet to understand where this all comes from, nor where it all is going, but I’ve been happy understanding it with you. I could never dream of hurting you, for you have become the closest friend I’ve ever had. Is that wrong to say?

My mind might be a random trail of thoughts, always shifting from motion to the next like a leaf caught in the middle of a hurricane, but in those desperate moments for peace I can find them brought front and center again in the present.

You have become my center, my wish for peace and balance, and the warmth I needed to restore some of my own sanity. Wishful thinking becomes reality alongside you, and I’m ever-thankful for it.  
The storm that cracks thunder within my soul and sends my thoughts shifting and turning like the crash of waves on the shore amid it all suddenly finds a break in the madness when I find your arms wrapped around me, bringing me to tears as the clouds give way to the moonlight on the water.

What more is there to say?

Perhaps I have grown too accustomed to being close, but as always I have offered to walk away the moment you give the word. The one who willingly shifts in and out of the circle, yet never fails to look back in the case something goes wrong, is an expensive sense of loyalty in a personal sense.

I am merely glad that, at the end of the night, you are able to go to sleep with a smile on your lips and wake up in the morning knowing you are not alone.

Ya kamar, I may be a hopeless romantic, but at least you giggle at the thought of my being your hopeless romantic.


	3. Ecstacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s something utterly satisfying in feeling your skin against mine and hearing your breathing as the sun sets on the horizon. I’ve become extremely giddy in knowing I can give you satisfaction – no, that’s an understatement, give you pure ecstasy.

Not once did I ever dream that things would be as they are today, and neither did you. There’s something utterly satisfying in feeling your skin against mine and hearing your breathing as the sun sets on the horizon. I’ve become extremely giddy in knowing I can give you satisfaction – no, that’s an understatement, give you pure _ecstasy_.

I couldn’t help myself in pinning your body against the cool sheets under us, restraining your wrists and taking your mouth as mine. Feeling your tongue brush against my own only fueled my craving. I wanted to return a favor… and in doing so, leave you with a pleasure that would take your heated body some time to process entirely.

Running my hand up and down your curves I’ve only just begun to learn each sensitive area, at times taking advantage to tickle you and other times to heighten your breathing patterns.

“Easy now,” I said, brushing a hand down your side. I was purposely teasing you. “What do you want?” I whispered, giving a heavy breath of warm air by your ear.

You visibly became crossed with both pleasure and slight discomfort. “You know what I want,” you muttered.

I chuckled softly. “I know…” I said to you, pressing my body against yours and intertwining my fingers with yours above your head. “But I want to hear you say it.” Multiple times you refused to respond to me, so I took matters into my own hands.

You were so incredibly stubborn. I shifted my weight down to your thighs to gently push your disheveled shirt up above your toned stomach. Of course, you knew what I was planning. Each breath raced faster than the one before. Yet again, I encouraged you to calm yourself. My teasing was hardly far from over.

The edge of my lip trailed gently across you, often leaving kisses and other times leaving the sensation of grazed teeth. I had purposely run my fingers over varying sensitive areas to your lower torso.

“What is it that you want?” I said again.

You hesitated, struggling against my palms because I had ordered you to keep your hands where they were a few minutes beforehand.

“I want to touch you…” you said to me with exasperation.

I was certainly happy to oblige. I relinquished your verbal restraint and instantly I found your hands against my own warmed skin, then in my tousled hair.

“What is it that you want?” I asked one final time.

“Don’t make me give up my pride… _Please._ ”

That was all I needed to hear, so I paused my movements. Then chuckled.

“I could make you… But I’m not that cruel.”

I sank my teeth into the exposed flesh of your stomach in multiple areas. Your vocal response sent my breathing soaring.

Oh, _God_.

The sheer shocks of sensitivity racing through you brought your voice through my ears, and _God_ it was so _wonderful_ hearing you cry my name.

When I was done with you, knowing you were beyond exhausted, I embraced your lips with mine happily and pressed my forehead against yours. The slight trembles in you signified your satisfaction with the event.

“You spoil me too much,” you said.

I objected. “You deserve to be spoiled, and I’m glad to be the one to have done it.

 


	4. Just Take Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every slight touch sent you deeper and deeper. In response, you pulled the binding at your wrist, but of course I calculated for your strength. Your sounds sent me spiraling and I took in every last bit of it at your lips with my own.

Last night blew me away, so much that it’s distracting me from all the work that you know I have to do. I know you struggle to give me the same pleasure, and it’s a battle we’ll be fighting for some time, but _God_ do I love the sensations you send me after I’ve had my own way with you.

Surprisingly-yet-unsurprisingly, you happily obliged to taking a new turn towards restraint, and while I knew it would be a thrill for me, I can only imagine how it must have felt with you. I had to ensure that you couldn’t escape, even if it meant sacrificing a moment of safety unlike what you had done with me. You were racing so quickly, and I’ll admit if adrenaline was a liquid I would have opted to drink every bit of it… but that’s what liquor is for.

Every slight touch sent you deeper and deeper. In response, you pulled the binding at your wrist, but of course I calculated for your strength. Your sounds sent me spiraling and I took in every last bit of it at your lips with my own.

I felt slightly guilty. I can treat every ounce of your being to whatever desires you may have, but when the tables are turned I know you aren’t so fortunate. I want you to know that letting go is not as simple as it seems. Perhaps that’s why I opt to thrill you instead – because I want to hear your laughter after it’s all said and done. That’s how I know I’ve done something right.

Yet I was caught incredibly off guard last night.

You were pleading with me. “ _Please,”_ you said, over and over again. “I _want_ you.”

The control you lock yourself in was mine to break, but I was aware at the careful nature I would need to do it with if I made it so far. I hadn’t calculated how far you had already lost yourself. Perhaps you already knew and were prepared to fall in wait for my arms to catch you.

Your pleas, of course, I was ready to satisfy.

I took your shirt up to your collarbone as I couldn’t drag it over your head with my restraint setup. That was fine. With your chest near-fully exposed to me and your heated lower torso available, I would take your pleasure as mine. _God,_ your breath was racing, but you were still pleading with me.

That’s when I realized you were slipping and had enough of my teasing.

_“Please… just take me, just take me, please…”_

Thus, I obliged and took my mark to your warm skin. Your voice dominated the air around us, hardly able to even say my name anymore as you had done several times over the last several minutes. You had even asked me to let myself go and to do with you as I pleased – you _wanted_ me to take you deeper than we had done in previous nights.

You startled me, however. After I was done, you were writhing beneath my body and the restraint at your head. I feared I had startled you, and without even thinking about your wrists I forced off the cloth binding to release you.

Over and over I asked you if you were alright, cradling your body against mine despite still being pinned as you buried your head in my chest and gripped at my shirt. You were fine, thankfully, and I giggled as I realized what had been done. In fact, you went as far to apologize because you had lost your own control. You should know by now that apologizing for something like that is unnecessary.

And so I chuckled. “How do you feel?”

You were hardly capable of responding, but what you said next made me so happy that I couldn’t help but be a little conceited. _“I saw stars,”_ you said.

And God I couldn’t help but hold you against me. You were so happy, so giddy, and so lost in sensation that you were still moving slightly as your body eased down.

“I’ve _never_ lost my control like that,” you muttered. “But I don’t mind losing it to you… because then if I fall, I know you’ll be there to _catch me.”_

I was thrilled, and I made it a point that I would never let you fall so deeply without me. In fact, you were still partially in my arms even at saying that. The thrill that went through me knowing I had sent you so far was utterly joyous in my body.

I can only hope you slept wonderfully, knowing you had exhausted yourself while in my arms.


	5. New Territories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have fallen ever-deeper into this nonsense that we have only defined as a controlled chaos. It is likely that in this I have fallen the hardest, having begun this journey with you at the rock-bottom of a two-year high. Amid an identity crisis and the strongest hurricane that I could have ever spun myself into somehow, I fell into your arms along the way. Somehow, we ended up here.

There is something about you that places every ounce of my control and restraint to the test. I have yet to decide if it is the scent of perfume at your skin, the warmth we share between us in the dead of the night when the moon is all but asleep, or the sounds of your breath as I run the tips of my fingers over the softness between us. Perhaps it is the sweet taste of your lips against mine as we brush against the other’s tongue.

Like you, I have experienced nights where I have felt the urge to hold you against my chest and shield you with my arms, stripping away any pain you have held within from the days before. I have sought the release of the world’s emotions from you; although that has surely been unsuccessful to this point, there has not been a single doubt that I have felt each one of them. Feeling your pain has brought my eyes to tears because of the realization that you are truly burying everything you own to your person. Perhaps that is why I have come into your life – to rescue you from your own darkness. You have grown fearful of my exiting your world because of your own actions; and yet, here we are.

We have fallen ever-deeper into this nonsense that we have only defined as a controlled chaos. It is likely that in this I have fallen the hardest, having begun this journey with you at the rock-bottom of a two-year high. Amid an identity crisis and the strongest hurricane that I could have ever spun myself into somehow, I fell into your arms along the way. Somehow, we ended up here.

In the beginning, we were incredibly timid. For me, it was the fear of doing more psychological harm than I could have dreamed of. Perhaps, for you, it was the change of your life and, like me, you shared the fear of turning your back on everything you had built yourself to be. Now we have become almost inseparable and raised more questions than we would both like to admit.

We now have reached the point of no return. That is, we have reached the stage of desire and desperation for one another. We have effectively given each other the challenge of a lifetime to release the strain and burden we bear within, and it may stand the test of time. Until then, however, we have laughably enjoyed the torment we seem to inflict on one another as we slowly discover the passions and desires that each other have kept secret to all but us.

For you, it has been the urge to keep your fingers against my skin without objection.

For me, it has been the need to push you further and further as my tongue graced your flesh.

However, for now, it is a desperation to lose all control and see just how much farther we delve into this pit of confusion and clarity.

In those wandering nights, we have witnessed the glimpse of lust held in our eyes. My hands finding ways down your lower torso while your lips have met with the mutual craving of mine. My fingers edging into territories that you have only allowed me to venture in as you breathe pure pleasure into the crevices of my collarbone. My gentle thrusts inside of you, taking every inch as my own, as your voice echoes in my ears. I have craved giving you that earth-shattering sensation of release as you beg me for more, but for now we have our own obstacles to overcome before we reach that stage.

Of course, some of what I have done has been mere teasing, and you have taken your revenge in your own ways. Some of it has been in accord to my own wants and needs, others being some of your own teasing. I have always been desperate for change because of my mental constitution. I have challenged you to come up with more because I become too easily accustomed to patterns. Though there has been no denying that I have fallen in absolute love in your restraining of me.

You, yourself, have taken advantage of my own challenges to you. The sensation of your fingers against my sensitive places have been very much different from what I have experienced on my own. My awareness of such a need has made me realize that I have found myself working to your movements and hands, often tightening myself around you because I cannot bring my desire into letting go.

We have spent such a great deal of time apart, perhaps I fear I will not be ready for your return. Until then, however, I can only dream of what it will be like and how our lust has likely grown exponentially for the other. Perhaps we will have plans in store. _God,_ if only that day would come a little bit sooner.

 

              


	6. In Case You Didn't Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's for you.

In Case You Didn't Know, written by Brett Young.

  

I can't count the times  
I almost said what's on my mind  
But I didn't  
Just the other day  
I wrote down all the things I'd say  
But I couldn't  
I just couldn't  
Baby, I know that you've been wondering  
So here goes nothing.

In case you didn't know  
Baby I'm crazy 'bout you  
And I would be lying if I said  
That I could live this life without you  
Even though I don't tell you all the time  
You had my heart a long, long time ago  
In case you didn't know.

The way you look tonight  
That second glass of wine  
That did it.  
There was something 'bout that kiss  
Girl, it did me in  
Got me thinking  
I'm thinking  
One of the things that I've been feeling  
It's time you hear 'em

In case you didn't know   
Baby, I'm crazy 'bout you   
And I would be lying if I said   
That I could live this life without you   
Even though I don't tell you all the time   
You had my heart a long, long time ago   
In case you didn't know 

You've got all of me  
I belong to you  
Yeah, you're my everything

In case you didn't know  
I'm crazy 'bout you  
I would be lying if I said  
That I could live this life without you  
Even though I don't tell you all the time  
You had my heart a long, long time ago  
Yeah, you had my heart a long, long time ago

In case you didn't know  
In case you didn't know


	7. Foreign Territory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You shoved me into the pillow, and God I knew I was in for it… Truth be told, even thinking about it is utterly arousing.

               The moment you brought up trying something new, my ears were ready for you. My inner submissive had craved your inner dominant for far too long. There is something incredibly arousing feeling your hands forcibly put me into places and positions that I had never tried before. I’ve always said to you, “Ya qamar, let’s do something different, I want you to surprise me,” because I don’t think you have fully realized how much I thrive on adrenaline. I thrive on you being creative with me, because I am physically far too de-sensitized to get anywhere on my own.

               Knowing the possible hesitations, knowing we would be entering semi-foreign territory, you proposed it anyway. “Let’s try it from behind,” you said. I wasn’t immediately nervous – I had no reason to be, I trust you with all my being. I know that the moment the red flag is raised, everything stops. Yet when you came out of the bathroom, put the blindfold around my eyes, and told me to turn around, you knew I was flustered immediately. I could feel myself becoming more heated. And you did something that thrilled me so much.

               You shoved me into the pillow, and _God_ I knew I was in for it… Truth be told, even _thinking_ about it is _utterly_ arousing.

               I’ll admit I reached a point where I debated if I needed to move, but that was no fault of yours. It was my fear knowing my physical health has taken a toll. You stopped and asked me if we needed to shift, and it was then I decided I wanted to ride it out – some pun intended. I knew I was safe in your hands.

               The experience was amazing, and I know that my becoming more vocal has made this even more fun for you. You remember a time when I was dead silent, not because I had to be but because I feared my voice being heard, even if I were the only one hearing it. Yet now I don’t believe I can reasonably hold it back because I know that, in those moments, you drink the sound from my lips and embrace the intoxication as if it were wine or whiskey. My sounds are quite literally your alcohol.

 

               But this isn’t just about me, of course.

 

               When we switched sides, I’ll admit I was worried. I had no way of knowing how you might react, and I wanted to check in with you every step of the way. I wanted to ensure that, regardless of what happened, you found your relief. And so, I put you in my place and took the reins myself.

               You were desperate. _God_ were you desperate. I wanted to give you everything you wanted. Laughably, I must remind myself to be vocal when we switch sides because I become so focused on your sounds to ensure I’m in the right position and that you’re not in pain.

               Yet I fear I may have overdone it.

               You know I have no malicious intent when we’re together. The dildo at my hips provides me with no pleasure. To you, in that moment, I am your tool to achieving satisfaction and merely a catalyst in the equation.

               When we stopped to shift positions, I became desperate to help you. I was desperate to help you relieve every ounce of your tension, and I fear I may have hurt you. I had no clue if you had finally orgasmed, but I had reason to believe you had at least some level of relief.

               I pulled out of you immediately, threw the strap-on aside, and just held onto you. It was all I could do to hold onto you. I’m not even sure if you fully acknowledged I was there. Even though you looked directly into my eyes, I felt like you only saw my shadow or my ghost in front of you. You started to cry and, as I held you, I felt myself start to cry with you. I apologized to you constantly, kissing your forehead and wiping the tears from your face.

               Minutes went by, it could have been two or it could have been five. I have no clue. You _finally_ said my name. You finally acknowledged my presence. You weren’t okay in that moment, but I knew you would be. I knew that you were there and that you were able to bring yourself out of the dark place I know your mind falls into when you become scared.

               At some point you finally breathed, and I could finally take a deep breath again, but you had the nerve to be concerned about my crying. You little shithead, I was worried about you! I just sort of chuckled. “Don’t worry about me,” I said to you. You became worried about having wet all the blankets under us. It was literally the last thing on my mind. I didn’t want you to move until you felt safe. I didn’t want to leave your side until you told me that you were okay.

               I hope you at least enjoyed yourself, despite the scare I know you had. I’m doing my best to ensure that I can take away any fear you have when we do these things, because I don’t want you to be afraid of what might happen. I’ll try to become more vocal so you can hear my voice and not his. So, in your mind you can visualize me and not him, so you know you have the right to withdraw your consent and tell me that you want to stop. I love you, and I promise I’ll try my best for you.

               I also hope we get another opportunity like this one though. I crave you now more than ever, and I think now I feel a bit more confident about myself and what we’re doing. I’m glad to have had this chance, and I hope you are too.


End file.
